‘Trump Was Merely Sharing The Gospel With That Porn Star,’ Explains Jim Bakker

I was literally making this same joke to people for a few days before I saw this!

Briefly...

One of the Trump loving radio folks apparently admitted saying in a tweet (in a tip to one of their advertisers) that she cut her twat while shaving last night and should have used a Harry's razor!

Theresa May must go - and go now

Theresa May's idea for holding an election unnecessarily right before major talks on one of the biggest issues in Britain today (Brexit) is in the words of Blackadder "[the] worst idea since someone said ‘yeah let’s take this suspiciously large wooden horse into Troy, statues are all the rage this season’.”

Berkeley Breathed, drawn back to 'Bloom County' but looking forward | Hero Complex (Los Angeles Times)

Yeah Berke Breathed is mostly a liberal but I gotta admit that I miss Bloom County and am looking forward at some point in the future to getting the five volume anthology of every strip ever drawn.

Obama Appoints Self G.O.D. (Gov'ntal Overall Director)

This is equal parts funny and spooky.

"Illustrating Absurdity By Being Absurd" Dept.

This was originally going to be posted in substantially the same form back in June of 2006 but for reasons I cannot recall at the moment never was. Nonetheless, changing times and circumstances made a slight revision of the original posting required but in light of how our foreign policy appears to be viewed by the present administration, maybe the flaws in the Obama weltanschauung{1} can best be illustrated with a bit of humour (the last line of the poem excluded of course). Without further ado...

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks, in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells with pride and he looks at his daughter with new found admiration. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard!"

"I know," Melissa says. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."


Note:

{1} Or as I have referred to in the past: false "peacemaking" being one of the many masks of modern marxism.

"NostraShawnus" Dept.

I have a way of being rather eerily accurate in overall prognosticating if we exclude sports predictions.{1} One such example pertaining to the recent war between Russia and Georgia was this offhand quip to a friend in a short chat back on August 12, 2008:

[W]atch for some loony leftist to claim that Putin and Russia invading Georgia was a Rove and Bush ploy to help out McCain.

Readers can notice the accuracy of this prediction by reviewing the following Times Online article from August 15, 2008:

Kremlin dusts off Cold War lexicon to make US villain in Georgia

The part of the article of particular interest for this posting is this:

Russians were told over breakfast yesterday what really happened in Georgia: the conflict in South Ossetia was part of a plot by Dick Cheney, the Vice-President, to stop Barack Obama being elected president of the United States.

So folks, do not underestimate your host's prognosticating capabilities even when he is being deliberately absurd. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging (to the extent there is a regular schedule of course of which there is not).

Note:

{1} Where despite some pretty substantial analyses of what my favourite teams need to do to succeed nonetheless with actual predictions I am invariably almost always wrong as this list of sports related blogs will more than adequately attest to.

For those who need a bit of a laugh in this election season, there is always the reliable folks at Jibjab our favourite political parody site. Here is their latest on the upcoming 2008 contest...

For wrapping up 2007, we recommend the animation of those astute commentators at JibJab.

It's What We Call The News

It has been a while since we checked in with Jibjab and this one from earlier in the year ticked our fancy. As usual, their astute "commentary" explains it well...in this case the BS that we so often call "news" these days.

It seems appropriate to find a bit of humour in this election season so here is a bit from one of my alltime favourite shows The Black Adder from the show's third season:

Black Adder: Dish and Dishonesty Part I

Those who are fans of House will recognize the actor who plays the Prince of Wales in the above episode.

"Illustrating Absurdity By Being Absurd" Dept.

With the exception of the last line, the mentality of the following joke explains adequately what is wrong with the approach towards the war on terror which pseudo-"peacemakers"{1} advocate...

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks, in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells with pride and he looks at his daughter with new found admiration. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard!"

"I know," Melissa says. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."


Note:

{1} Or as I have referred to in the past: false "peacemaking" being one of the many masks of modern marxism.

This cartoon (posted here courtesy of The Curmudgeon) says it all about the Christmas season and political correctness as far as those of Us at Rerum Novarum are concerned...

Jeff Miller notified me that he took and ran with a suggestion I made yesterday about a parody on the "Dancing Itos" as applicable to Judge Samuel Alito (or the "Dancing Alitos"). Well done (as always) on the parody Jeff!!!

He did not invent this one but nonetheless I must give Jeff Miller props for finding it: Episcopopoly.

The Conspiracy of Sandra Meisel!!!

One of the links I was contemplating for the next weblog update was Sandra Meisel's December 2002 article on Swinging at Windmills. However, a scheme was uncovered by your mentally-exhausted-but-still-able-to-sniff-out-a-conspiracy blog host which has quashed this idea. But before I explain the details of this abomination, it is worthwhile to note first that even the title much too closely resembles my reference to tilting at windmills in an essay I wrote in 2001. If that was all there was then chalking it up to coincidence would be possible. But that is not all gentle reader ohh no, we are just getting started.

Consider that the piece she has authored - a piece on conspiracies - has quite possibly had a role in a conspiracy itself!!! This is a bold assertion gentle readers but we will supply the evidence. It will then be up to you to acknowledge the fact that she has hoodwinked you and that Crisis Magazine is clearly in on it as well.

A subtitle of her longer essay is titled The Protocols of Paranoia. This subtitle for some reason did not jump out at me the first time I read the piece earlier this year; however now after reaquainting myself with my old conspiracy paradigm from years back, now it so clearly does. For you see, I find it intriguing that this so eerily comes close to a section of my treatise titled Protocols and Paranoia and which - like Ms. Meisel's section - happens to discuss the Protocols of Zion. The following quotes from Ms. Meisel's piece will be in black while quotes from my treatise will be in darkblue. Without further ado, let us get to it. First we quote from Ms. Meisel's piece:

In the 1890s, the decade of the Dreyfus Affair, czarist Russian secret agents adapted a French satire on Napoleon III into the infamous Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion.

Now from my treatise section Protocols and Paranoia:

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion document was shown to be a hoax over eighty years ago. It was a known forgery even in the early 1920's. (The authorship has been established to have been someone or a group within the Tzar's secret police.) It was written at the earliest in the closing decades of the nineteenth century and based on a French satire.

Now then, what are we to make of this??? I suppose we could simply claim that it is a "coincidence," that Sandra and I happened to seize on and utilize almost the exact same section title. Of course people who say this would probably dismiss as "coincidental" the fact that we both referred to the Protocols as not the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" but instead as the "Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion" rather than as it is commonly referred to. And I suppose both references to a French satire were mere "coincidence" too??? Or was there instead a...deliberate and...premeditated.......borrowing.......by Ms. Meisel.......of my work as part of a..............grand conspiracy to.......................... undermine..............other potential conspiracies??? Oh we are not done yet, here is yet more proof:

cabals of Jewish financiers

cabalistic...Jewish.

These are simply too close to the following from Protocols and Paranoia:

an elite cabal of Jews

And yet we have more...

denied the...Holocaust.

Holocaust denial

Will it never cease???

Jews...Freemasons in the basement? Reds under the bed? Black helicopters in the sky? Answer: A surprising number of otherwise sensible people. Even under the new shadow of terrorism, old fears live on, breeding bogeys that knot together in a vipers’ tangle of menace.

...Judeo-Masonic-Communist conspiracy and/or the imminent arrival of the Antichrist to rule over the New World Order. Their anxieties are often fueled by anti-Semitic screeds, polemical histories, eccentric economics, and even heavenly messages.

the 'traditionalist' movement is home to every kooky fringe theory that you can possibly imagine. There is a whole cornucopia of them from Masons running the Vatican to Jews running the world to Holocaust denial...

And finally, this tidbit:

The protocols provided the foundation for many of the worst anti-Semitic theories in the 20th century, influencing even Hitler.

There was virtually no revisions made to the Protocols and Paranoia section in late December 2002 and early January of 2003 when the treatise was revised, expanded, and made easier to download and read. However, one sentence was deleted from the Protocols and Paranoia section from how it read since 2000 and it was the following one:

Of course this is the same "logic" that Adolph Hitler used in Mein Kampf (written in 1923) when he addressed the fact that the "Protocols" were known to be a forgery even in his day.

Now since Sandra Meisel wrote her article *before* that sentence was excised out of the current treatise section, it would seem to be obvious that the excerpt from her essay was based on the above sentence. I mean come on, the fact that we *both* mentioned the Protocols in relation to Hitler??? Can the evidence be any more convincing???

How anyone cannot so clearly see what all of this adds up to is a mysery to me. Now I suppose that someone could argue that 99% of Meisel's piece shows no potential borrowing of any kind - and even the above are not verbatim bits but you see...that is the whole point: the 99% is a mere *distraction* to allow for the 1% to be snuck into the piece undetected. And the reason they are not verbatim is because Sandra Meisel is much too clever to do that lest her machinations be detected by the untrained eye.

In summary, that there is a conspiracy here is evident to all who can read the tea leaves. Exactly what that conspiracy is will require more research but it is there......."undisputedly" I say!!!

"Rerum Novarum Beer" Dept.

We at Rerum Novarum extend to you the reader the following monitum on Beer:

Beer

Please allow a little time for proper loading of the file. Observe the virtue of moderation being promoted here...

I seem to recall saying "Look for [Lott] to be wearing parachute pants, sporting a Kid-like hairdo, and wearing a small clock on a chain around his neck". Well, someone else was thinking along these same lines. Courtesy of KVI in Seattle, I offer you the following:

And they say a picture is worth a thousand words...

Having received a TPB from the "St. Blog's Monitoring Staff" (from two guys in impeccable Italian suits who are noticably burlier then I am) who wanted to "persuade" us to make a more frequent mention of the HMS weblog here at Rerum Novarum.

After they left we felt a collective desire for reasons we cannot explain to extol the HMS weblog - particularly the Godfather of HMS weblog Gregory Popcak who made us at Rerum Novarum an offer we could not refuse. (We cannot go into details on the negotiation but some of our benefits include a promise of "protection" from sudden blogger template loss for a "minor servicing fee".)

So we feel *compelled* for some reason to bring you the following bulletin from Greg Popcak on the Archdioceses of Boston and how it may be filing for bankruptcy: Click Here

Have I mentioned how Mark, Emily, and others at HMS - particularly Gregory Popcak - have such Gravitas???